Bozo of the Week

Real Madrid had their cake volunteering to hose the 2010 UEFA Champions League finals at the Bernabeu in Madrid after club president Florentino Perez's £240 million galacticos spending spree on players over the summer like Cristiano Ronaldo, Kaka, Karim Benzema, and Xabi Alonso. There would be no waiting game because the goal was simple, win the Champions League now.

Now Real can eat their cake too, after the Kings of Lyon knocked Madrid out of the champions league in the round of 16 for the sixth consecutive season thanks in large part to Miralem Pjanic's 75th goal last night that gave Lyon the 2-1 win on aggregate and would have been enough thanks to the Away-Goal Rule even if Madrid had scored another goal later in the evening.

Blame who you want, coach Manuel Pellegrini who subbed off Kaka in the second half for Raul. Perhaps Kaka himself for living up to his 75-million Euro buy over the summer, and missed an early chance in the game firing a shot directly into the keeper with only the keeper to beat. Perhaps front line strike Gonzalo Higuain, who also had an easy chance to score after beating the defense knocking the ball by the keeper and passing the ball towards net only to be denied by the woodwork. Perhaps president Perez himself for failing to address Madrid's real short-comings in the offseason, their defensive deficiencies. There's plenty to go around in the blame game.

But remember this fun little fact, since Vincente Del Bosque was axed in 2003 after Madrid failed to make it past the semifinals, nine coaches have played musical chairs with Real's head coaching position. Add that headache to the fact that reigning UCL champions Barcelona are still the heavy favorites to repeat and you have the best headline of the day - The Nightmare has become Real.

I can tell you this much I'm reveling in Real's dysfunction as my boys in England - Arsenal and Manchester United - combined to beat their opponents 9-0 this week. I can only hope too that my favorite team in Spain - Barcelona - can get to the finals so that their fans invade the Bernabeu and toss a little more salt on the open wound.

REAL MADRID YOUR NEW BOZOS OF THE WEEK!

Week 2's "Bozo of the Week"

The voters have again spoken and I agree, Lukasz Fabianski is our second "Bozo of the Week" for his two big flaps in last week's Champions League match vs. FC Porto, beating out referee Tom Henning Ovrebo, who himself had another controversial performance in the Bayern Munich v. Fiorentina match.

Fabianski's schoolboy mistakes cost Arsenal the chance to take home a huge win or even a draw on the road with their crucial away-goal. In the first half he completely blew an easy cross on net by Porto's Varela spilling the ball in net. Then for some unknown lack of focus Fabianski picked up a back-pass by Gunner defender Sol Campbell and again Porto made Arsenal pay scoring quickly on the restart.

Although I would like to believe Fabianski was on the take from London mobster like Brick Top of the movie "Snatch," unfortunately I think Fabianski just basically sucks. He backs up Manuel Almunia, who himself was a career backup until German No. 1 Jens Lehmann finally started showing his late-30s age two years ago.

Fortunately the Gunners 2-1 defeat is not a complete loss for us Arsenal fans, the North London side have a chance to redeem themselves in their home game next week.

The Inaugural Bozo of the Week

The voters have spoken and with a decisive 9 to 5 advantage John Shimer won the very first "Bozo of the Week."

Shimer, who was nominated for owning over 25 jerseys and generally being a huge bozo, ran away with the vote in the early going and held on late over Terry, who cheated on his wife and twins with fellow England international teammate Wayne Bridge's former girl friend, and eventually was stripped of his England captaincy by coach Fabio Capello.

Anonymous said, "You're a bozo because you're stealing MSNBC and CNN's intellectual property and probably haven't considered the legal ramifications. You also have an authentic dirty sanchez in your picture. Huge bozo."

Although Anonymous was afraid to put his own name behind his comment and is dead wrong in the fact that Red, White and Blue Army have stolen no intellectual property considering MSNNC pundit Keith Olbermann's shtick is his daily "Worst person in the world," and the only common word in the two phrases is "the," he is entitled to his opinion.

We here at Red, White, and Blue Army use a weekly format focused on soccer related items to select nominees for the "Bozo of the Week." I'm pretty sure Olbermann, who uses a daily format focused on political issues from around the world, has not a care in the world about the bozoness of soccer folks from around the world.

James Shimer also said, "Terry... yea I'd cheat on her too... she's hideous... As a friend of mine said, don't blame the guy for getting with girls. Blame him for getting married in the first place. WHATUP TIGER."

I agree with James in that athletes far too often rush to get married before they are famous and often then throughout their careers cheat on their spouses. He probably should not have gotten married or had the similar stipulation that Will Smith has with Jada Pinkett-Smith in their open marriage.

Here is a quote from Will Smith: Although Will Smith has said he would never cheat on his wife without first asking permission, he has been quoted as saying, "In our marriage vows, we didn't say 'forsaking all others.' The vow that we made was that you will never hear that I did something after the fact ... If it came down to it, then one spouse can say to the other, 'Look, I need to have sex with somebody. I'm not going to if you don't approve of it - but please approve of it.'"

http://marriage.about.com/od/entertainmen1/p/willsmith.htm

Or perhaps Terry should have made his wife concede to Andrei Kirilenko's wife's stipulations. Kirilenko's wife, Masha Lopatova, once a pop star in the couple's native Russia, is quoted in an issue of ESPN The Magazine as saying she allows her husband to have sex with another woman one night a year. "When I'm aware and I let him do it, it's not cheating." Kirilenko's response: "I'm not planning to do anything. But she said if you want to do it, you can do it."